“You gotta learn how to take a compliment because I’m not going to stop making them.” — Claudia Gray
It’s so easy (thankfully) for us to give compliments. “I love your new haircut!” “These muffins are fantastic.” “You’re such a good friend!” You say, like it’s no big deal.
But when we’re on the receiving end, it’s like it’s almost instinctual to want to deflect the compliment or even bash yourself in return.
Any of this sound familiar?
Friend: “I love your sweater.”
You: “This old thing? I’ve had it since college.”
Friend: “Congrats on your promotion!”
You: “I honestly don’t know why they gave it to me. I think there was no one else left to promote.”
Friend: “Your home is so beautiful.”
You: “It’s actually all falling apart — roof leaks and we assembled the furniture ourselves. Big mistake.”
If this sounds like you (and no worries — it sounds like a lot of us!), then you could use a good old fashioned compliment challenge.
What on earth are we talking about?
The next time someone pays you a compliment, you’re going to respond simply with, “Thank you.”
That’s right. “Thank you.” And that’s all.
No deflecting, no giving yourself a little dig. When you bash yourself after receiving compliments, you start internalizing the negative things you say.
It’s also like telling the universe, “Nope, I don’t deserve it.” And the more you say no to compliments, the less you’ll receive them.
Did a coworker say you’re a great leader? Relish it. Did your daughter say your hair looks nice? Cherish it.
Earn some bonus points, too, if you tell the person how it makes you feel — for example, “That makes me feel good, so thank you.”
Trust us, it’s not easy to do — but it’s a habit you’ll want to get into!
A final reminder: Don’t forget to pay it forward — or pay it back. Keeping the compliment chain going spreads the love and allows more people to feel good about all they have to offer in this world.
To keeping the compliment chain going and spreading love!
Quote du jour
“I can live for two months on a good compliment.” — Mark Twain
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