Why Boundaries Are a Good Thing

 

Most of us are good people and enjoy making others happy. We like saying “yes” to what people ask of us and overall try to be people-pleasing. (After all, we’re human and want to be helpful and liked!) So, it can feel natural to drop what we’re doing, lose sleep, and turn our schedules upside down to accommodate others. 

The problem? Sometimes when we say “yes,” especially to the same people, again and again, we find ourselves doing things that don’t actually work for us, bending over backward, and ultimately feeling resentment, regret, and even taken advantage of. 

Sometimes, we give so much that our lives become imbalanced and we find ourselves feeling exhausted, falling short on our own goals, and even sick from burnout.

Truth time … When was the last time you set some healthy boundaries in your life?

If your answer is “it’s been a while,” or “I’m not sure I actually ever have?” you’re not alone. Setting boundaries can seem uncomfortable because it often involves saying “no” and risks disappointing people. 

But like author, speaker and amazing human being Brené Brown says, “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others.” 

We create boundaries not to hurt others, but to love ourselves more. And since all love begins with self-love, it only ends up strengthening our bonds.

So, this weekend, create some healthy boundaries in your life and …

1. Ask yourself how you’re doing and which areas of your life do you feel overwhelmed or like something’s imbalanced?

Are you working so late you don’t have time to unwind and enjoy your evenings? Are you saying ‘yes’ to so many invitations that you feel your calendar is constantly crammed? 

Identify what feels heavy or off in areas of your life.

2. Write down what boundaries you can create to help yourself out.
Everyone’s boundaries look different. For you, it may be drawing a hard line and leaving work behind at 6 p.m. no matter how many times your phone pings. Or, saying ‘yes’ to only two social events a week.

3. Communicate those boundaries (when appropriate).
Whether it’s to your boss, friends, partner, or family members, let the people in your life know your limits if and when it makes sense. This way everyone’s in the know and you’re less likely to feel tested.

4. Stick to your boundaries, even if it’s tough.
You set your boundaries for a reason (to give yourself some more TLC!) so stick with them. Remember why you have them when family members needle you to come to an event, even if your weekend is already packed – or your boss makes you feel guilty for not replying to emails late into the night.

Boundaries are an act of self-care, so consider them a much-deserved gift to yourself. And remember, the happier you are, the happier everyone around you will be. 

Wishing you a wonderful weekend. Be good to yourself! 

Emily and the EveryDay Happy Team

P.S. Join us on Instagram to feel inspired, uplifted and for daily tips to create more joy in your life. 

Did you like this note? Now you can help us keep our notes ad-free by showing your appreciation with a tip. You can tip $5, $10, $25, $50, $100, or any amount you want. Thank you for your support! 

 

Quote du jour

“I set boundaries not to offend you but to respect myself.” — Unknown

 

Read and Listen to More Like This

Enjoy Yourself More This Season

What To Do When You’re Feeling Burnout

The Secret To Midday Happiness

The Magical Word You Need To Start Using

This Is Your Most Important Friendship

 

Latest Feel-Good Notes

Make Time for Your Dreams

Make Time for Your Dreams

What’s one thing you could do that would make this year stand out from the rest and make you feel like you took a big leap in your life?

These days, many of us are so pressed for time that we give ourselves few moments to do what actually excites us. But even if your day feels impossibly stuffed, you can make time for what really matters.

Sounds nice, but how, you may be wondering? I’m so happy you asked!

You Are Enough, Right Now

You Are Enough, Right Now

Some days you may feel like you’re not good enough, or doing enough. You may wish you could snap your fingers and turn into a version of yourself you think you should be with a perfect job, spotless house, and exciting hobbies (or whatever your definition of an ideal life may be).  

But here’s something you need to know … You are wonderful, just as you are. You are enough, right now.

7 Ways To Add More Happiness To Your Day

7 Ways To Add More Happiness To Your Day

Imagine rolling out of bed with a smile on your face, laughing throughout your day, and going to bed feeling calm and content?

While not every day will be sunshine and rainbows, there are so many things you can do to add more joy to each day.

Here are seven of my favorite ways:

A Less Stress Summer

A Less Stress Summer

Summer is synonymous with relaxation, but sometimes we find ourselves stressed out and not living our best, “feet in the sand, good book in hand,” season.

Worries happen to all of us. But, one of the easiest ways to feel more carefree is to take a moment to declutter your brain. Because here’s the deal: Our brain can only handle so many thoughts at once. Anything extra bouncing around distracts you from enjoying otherwise happy moments.

Here’s how: