Most of us are good people and enjoy making others happy. We like saying “yes” to what people ask of us and overall try to be people-pleasing. (After all, we’re human and want to be helpful and liked!) So, it can feel natural to drop what we’re doing, lose sleep, and turn our schedules upside down to accommodate others.
The problem? Sometimes when we say “yes,” especially to the same people, again and again, we find ourselves doing things that don’t actually work for us, bending over backward, and ultimately feeling resentment, regret, and even taken advantage of.
Sometimes, we give so much that our lives become imbalanced and we find ourselves feeling exhausted, falling short on our own goals, and even sick from burnout.
Truth time … When was the last time you set some healthy boundaries in your life?
If your answer is “it’s been a while,” or “I’m not sure I actually ever have?” you’re not alone. Setting boundaries can seem uncomfortable because it often involves saying “no” and risks disappointing people.
But like author, speaker and amazing human being Brené Brown says, “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others.”
We create boundaries not to hurt others, but to love ourselves more. And since all love begins with self-love, it only ends up strengthening our bonds.
So, this weekend, create some healthy boundaries in your life and …
1. Ask yourself how you’re doing and which areas of your life do you feel overwhelmed or like something’s imbalanced?
Are you working so late you don’t have time to unwind and enjoy your evenings? Are you saying ‘yes’ to so many invitations that you feel your calendar is constantly crammed?
Identify what feels heavy or off in areas of your life.
2. Write down what boundaries you can create to help yourself out.
Everyone’s boundaries look different. For you, it may be drawing a hard line and leaving work behind at 6 p.m. no matter how many times your phone pings. Or, saying ‘yes’ to only two social events a week.
3. Communicate those boundaries (when appropriate).
Whether it’s to your boss, friends, partner, or family members, let the people in your life know your limits if and when it makes sense. This way everyone’s in the know and you’re less likely to feel tested.
4. Stick to your boundaries, even if it’s tough.
You set your boundaries for a reason (to give yourself some more TLC!) so stick with them. Remember why you have them when family members needle you to come to an event, even if your weekend is already packed – or your boss makes you feel guilty for not replying to emails late into the night.
Boundaries are an act of self-care, so consider them a much-deserved gift to yourself. And remember, the happier you are, the happier everyone around you will be.
Wishing you a wonderful weekend. Be good to yourself!
Emily and the EveryDay Happy Team
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Quote du jour
“I set boundaries not to offend you but to respect myself.” — Unknown
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