Would you ever tell your best friend she wasn’t doing enough, wasn’t worthy of great things, or worse, call her an idiot? Would you ever berate her for making a tiny mistake? 

Of course not! You’d never bully anyone you cared about like that, and yet, how often do you do it to yourself? 

Our hope is you answered “never” — but, sadly it happens more than most of us even realize. We tell ourselves we’re not good enough, not attractive enough, and kick ourselves when we’re down. 

Whether we mean to or not, or know it or not, negative self-talk tugs at our self-esteem. Over time, all of the bashing and seemingly harmless self-deprecating jokes take a toll on our self-worth and our confidence takes a dive. 

It’s not easy to break the cycle of negative self-talk, but since we get what we think about and speak about in life, it’s important to become aware of how you treat yourself and do your best to give yourself constant love and appreciation. After all, you’re a wonderful person and deserve to be good to Y-O-U. 

Here are two ways you can start being kinder to yourself starting today! 

1. Talk to yourself like you do your best friend. Anytime you notice your self-talk bordering on being a bully ask yourself, “Would I say this to a friend?” If the answer is “No way!” then pause and rephrase that inner dialogue to mirror what you’d say to them. 

For example, let’s say you spilled a cup of coffee on a book you’re reading. Your inner critic might immediately say something like, “Ugh, I’m such a klutzy idiot — how could I do that?!” But to a friend you’d probably say something more like, “Ugh that’s a bummer … but accidents happen to all of us and it’ll be OK.” 

This might feel a little silly at first, but if you try replacing your inner-bully with an inner-friend for a few days, you’ll likely start to feel more peace with yourself and joy in your life. 

2. Go easy on yourself. We all love giving our best, but instead of pushing yourself to do more and be more, what if you didn’t go above and beyond, stress yourself out, and break your back to get everything done and as perfect as possible? What if you were gentler with Y-O-U and gave yourself permission to kick back, take a break from overachieving and make the priority to enjoy yourself and life to the fullest?

Try being OK with not pushing yourself so hard and instead enjoy yourself more — sans guilt.

You’re an amazing person and you’re worthy of everything you want in life. So don’t let anyone (especially your own inner critic!) tell you otherwise. 

Be good to yourself today!

Emily and the EveryDay Happy Team

Quote du jour

“Love yourself first and everything falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” — Lucille Ball

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